being filthy rich

as hard as i try to walk away from stacks of money it is the only thing on my mind. but it is more than just having crazy amounts of money. i want to go harder and to the next level. i don't think i am working hard enough. when you think about it to be the best at your craft and to creep up on the other best of the best you have to work hardcore. most people don't realize what hardcore means. they think that working 8 hours a day and doing your 40 is good. 40 is nothing. you gotta work 80 to tread water. and 80 isn't even enough. superstars... they work 110 hours a week. that is the day in age we live in. this day and age is about the stars. about the god status. living up there. living in the sky. and who wants to go there? i want to be there. i want to be there. do i really want it? it pretty much is a sacrifice of everything for your craft. you just have to sacrifice it all to gain something. to produce something great.

everyone talks about greatness but to achieve real greatness is dedication and hard work. there is no way around it. the more i think about it, the way to get to the top of your craft is a day in an day out grind. just grinding hard. it scares me. it scares me jumping off into the deep end and not knowing what will come out of it. but that is the way to do it. that is the way to fly. i want to fly. i want to achieve godlike status.

here is where the conundrum comes in. is this all there is to it? if this all there is to life and you want to achieve something superior and great than you invest all your chips for this life to produce one things that just blows the lids off of it all. this is my struggle. the belief in an afterlife makes you want to prepare for that which your eyes cannot see. your ears cannot hear. and you can't feel it or imagine it. something greater than your mind in the afterlife. and investing for it so that you can live a great great life... not on this planet but on that which is after here. I think about that part. just stacking my chips for the treasures in heaven. how much can i give in this life so i can get the big big rewards in the next. and the next life rewards are eternal instead of that which can rot like things in this world. the perfect world. it is a radical concept. i don't know if i buy it fully. and it is hard to sacrifice for that. i like the example of waking up from death and then seeing that YES YES YES!!! that afterlife is really real. and the actions you make today will make a difference to that which is going to be here tomorrow. how explosive would that be? that is something great and spectacular. i want a piece of that.

the world is full of things to blind you and pull you away from this dream. for all i know all that afterlife stuff could be crap. it could be bullshit. this could be all we have to live for. that scares me. but it also excites me to do more with my life. here on earth. what is that balance that we can have here. can't we just live in the fantasy world all day long. can't we just make it happen?